IT HAS BEGUN: BLOGGING FOR NEW ZEALAND

Yes, that's right. The moment is here. I am officially leaving in 5 days, 5 hours, and 6 minutes. But who is counting, right? New Zealand awaits!

I am having my usual roundabouts of emotions. Some are familiar, some are not. First, and most often, comes the stress. I have no idea where this sensation is coming from, but it's been eating me up inside for at least 6 months. Lets just be honest, studying abroad is a giant pain in the ass. The paperwork is endless, the meetings are long and often, and its expensive as hell. Good thing I know already that it's going to be worth it; at least I'm hoping so. How could it not be? I'm going to be living in NEW ZEALAND.

The next emotion I am feeling is panic. This goes hand-in-hand with stress, but it's way more amusing because it involves me on Skype, freaking the fuck out to anyone who will listen. Usually Corinn, my GeoJourney pal. Let me elaborate on my version of "freaking out". It involves me grabbing my own face and smooshing it as hard as I can with a concerned look on my face. Then I pull my hair out, followed by a mild version of tourettes syndrome where I yell every single word that comes into my mind, that has obviously missed my brains natural filter that tells me to never say things like that out loud, ever. Finally, and my personal favorite, my stomach feels like someone just jumped out from the dark and scared me, or I'm on a rollercoaster. You know, that intense adrenaline feeling? I get that while sitting down in kitchen. I'm pretty sure that someone, somewhere in the world, would pay money for that feeling.

The sensation I feel the most, pre-departure, is absolutely nothing. I've known I am going to be doing this for at least 6 months, and it still hasn't hit me!!! Up until now, all this experience has been is meeting with the Dean, my advisor, and the study abroad office. It's been paperwork, applications, financial aid, and obnoxious phone calls. Soon enough it will be shopping and packing! I feel like it's impossible to understand and enjoy what is coming up when you are swamped with work. I keep saying "I'm moving to New Zealand!" to people who ask me at work and to myself in the mirror, but nothing! I can't wrap my mind around the fact that this is actually happening. The only two times I have actually truly realized that I am going to New Zealand for a semester my reaction was....see above.

Well, I just realized that I have sounded like a HUGE PARTY POOPER! Lets talk about the good feelings I'm having! How about...the "pre- going on a life changing experience" nervousness! No, I do not categorize this as a bad feeling! I love it! This is almost exactly how I felt before I embarked on GeoJourney. Except for before GeoJourney, I was just plain scared shitless. In this situation, I am moderately nervous, but I recognize now that this is a good feeling because good is to come! And thanks to that wondrous road-trip across America, I realize that I can do anything I put my mind to! Thanks, GeoJourney. I miss you everyday.

I remember, not much more than a year ago, I was awake in a hotel room, staring at the ceiling. I was thinking "What the hell have I gotten myself into?" "How am I supposed to survive 2.5 months without a BED?!" "My hair is going to look sooooo bad when I'm not able to shower." "Am I insane?". I remember it so clearly, like it was last week. I was so nervous, I didn't get a wink of sleep. I had no reason to want to go on GeoJourney. I wasn't an outdoorsy person, I hadn't gone camping in years, I wasn't in shape. I had a totally different set of priorities. And look how that trip changed my life: a complete 180 degree turn-around. I can never be thankful enough to Nikki Elkins, BGSU, and life in general for giving me GeoJourney. If I hadn't gone on that trip I probably would of never had the courage, or interest, to go to New Zealand alone, to study abroad at a new university. I never would of found my passion: Anthropology; something I love and something that I am really good at.

So as the time comes again for me to embark on a new adventure: here I am. Sitting in my kitchen, starting my blog back up and thinking "OH MY GOD! What have I gotten myself into?! How am I supposed to survive without Q'Doba for 5 months!!!!???" Now if I can just stop listening to the Juno soundtrack and Wagon Wheel for 5 minutes.....