RIGHTEOUS NATURAL FEATURE OF THE DAY: MT. ST. HELENS

I'm sure many of you have heard of the infamous Mt. St Helens. She is a gigantic volcano in Oregon that erupted extremely violently on May 18, 1980.

When Helens blew she created the largest landslide on record at 70-150 mph and a 5.1 earthquake under the mountain. Twenty-three square miles (1, 314 feet) of debris exploded off the volcano when she erupted, covering nearby areas with 150-600 feet of ash and debris.

TRAUMATIC STORY OF MY CHILDHOOD: FROGS

Before I get started extrapolating how horrible my parents were to me on this significant day in my childhood, I want to let you know that I have the greatest parents on earth; they just have really sick senses of humor.

On a sunny day in the lovely town of Biloxi, Mississippi my parents went out on a little adventure. Before this historical day in my past I had no serious fears or phobias in my life. I was about 6 years old. Well, living in Mississippi had its surpluses of disgusting wildlife; like giant cockroaches that jumped out of the sewers and big, lumpy, gross toads. We also had a neighborhood playground that was made completely of un-finished wood. I have many awesome memories of my Mom pulling splinters out of my fingers in the front yard as I screamed my head off, but we wont go there.

My parents, on their nice walk, decided to catch about a dozen of the ugliest toads known to mankind and bring them home for their children's viewing pleasure! They put up a gate to block the entrance in our kitchen and let the toads loose. My brother, being a boy, ate that shit up. I, being a scared girl, sat on top of the counter nervously combing My Little Pony's hair and looking down on the floor of hell. The toads were everywhere, jumping on top of each other and trying to escape up the cabinets.

I was terrified but I had no idea how my life was going to take a turn that day. Being six, I had no idea a life could take a turn in the first place. God, how my parents took advantage of my pre-adolescent innocence. I remember my parents cooly asking me to "just go down there and touch that cute little baby toad in the corner". What motivated me to get my little kid guts up and take that walk of shame, I have no idea. I climbed down off the counter and made my way over to the baby toad in the corner. I dodged and jumped over all the big gross ones. I kneeled down and looked at the little guy..."Awwww, he's not that bad" I thought. I slowly extending my pointer finger out to touch him, in slow motion....and thump, thump, thump. I felt a pounding on my little back.

My asshole parents had picked up all the disgusting, lumpy, slimy toads when my back was to them and thrown them on me.

I don't remember much from that point on. I remember I was completely traumatized and ran out of the room screaming. I probably cried for weeks. I was just as big of a drama queen then as I am today.

It is safe to say that my phobia of frogs and toads that still lives deep in my SOUL is due to my parents sick sense of humor. My mom is reading this right now, cracking up...just like when I tumbled down a steep hill doing somersaults for 60 feet. Aren't you mom?

While I agree that this story is hilarious and I probably would of done the exact same thing to my kid, my phobia is still very severe. I'm getting nauseous just writing about the disgusting creatures.

My parents are assholes. But it's okay, I still love them. I am just going to wait until the day they are old and wearing Depends for my revenge. And it is going to be AWESOME.

WISE WORDS FROM FILM

Pulp Fiction
Fabienne: No. Pot bellies make a man look either oafish, or like a gorilla. But on a woman, a pot belly is very sexy. The rest of you is normal. Normal face, normal legs, normal hips, normal ass, but with a big, perfectly round pot belly. If I had one, I'd wear a tee-shirt two sizes too small to accentuate it.
Butch:You think guys would find that attractive?
Fabienne: I don't give a damn what men find attractive. It's unfortunate what we find pleasing to the touch and pleasing to the eye is seldom the same.

JOKE OF THE DAY

"Three tomatoes are walking down the street- a poppa tomato, a momma tomato, and a little baby tomato. Baby tomato starts lagging behind. Poppa tomato gets angry, goes over to the baby tomato, and smooshes him... and says, Catch up."

JUST FOR FUN

This one's for you Mom

ELEPHANTS SUFFER FROM ZOO-KEEPING

A study recently showed that elephants who live in captivity live significantly shorter lives than those in the wild.

Is this really that shocking? I guess seeing it in numbers makes it more real.

The lifespan of African elephants in the wild is approximately 56 years; elephants kept in zoos live a mere 19.

Mortality rates of Asian elephants born in zoos are 2-3% higher than if born in nature.

Is this wrong? Completely!

Many scientists suggest that the living environments in zoos aren't large enough and their diet is not healthily balanced, which causes extreme stress in the animals day to day life.

Ross Clubb from the Britains Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals states "The vast majority are overweight in zoos, this could explain the high still-birth rates and why they're dying early. Bigger mothers have bigger calves and more of these are still-born."

This is so sick. If zoos cannot properly care for their animals then they should not take on the challenge of keeping them.

While zoos are very educational places where children and adults alike can come and enjoy the beauty of nature's living creations, they should be treated as such. The fact is: animals are animals. They are not pets, they are not a form of entertainment. Sadly, they do not have the right to obtain what is right for them if humans feel they don't need to.They need to live in the wild, and if we are going to deny them this access then we absolutely have to make sure they lead healthy and active lives in their unnatural locations.

We, as the most advanced species in our world, need to accept that we are not the end of the line in evolution. We need to respect our planet and all the living things that reside on it alongside us.

Source

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. Hate multiplies hate, violence multiplies violence, and toughness multiplies toughness in a descending spiral of destruction. The chain reaction of evil--hate begetting hate, wars producing more wars- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation."

Martin Luther King, Jr., Strength to Love, 1963